Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Spring Cleaning

Some of you may look at that title and groan. Spring cleaning is not fun. It requires potent cleaners, a scouring pad, some elbow grease and time. Yesterday was not a good day. It was supposed to be. One of my cleaning clients canceled on me so I was looking forward to getting some much needed things done around my house. Instead, I felt very tormented by the Enemy. I started thinking about how when my trip rolls around next month that I want to have all the laundry done(my husband doesn't do laundry, the last thing he put into my washer was his horse blanket! thanks honey for all that horse hair in my sink :-) Will Greg get the kids to school on time, will he remember to pick them up, what if he goes on a horse ride and something "happens", what if, what if, what if. It just didn't end. I knew I would be attacked in regards to leaving my family for 5 days but I didn't think it would happen this soon. I thought maybe the week or days before departing. So yesterday was spent worrying about all the things that could go wrong.
This morning I headed off to my cleaning job. As I started cleaning the kitchen counters, I noticed that there were marks that didn't come off as I cleaned them. The same with the floors and shower walls. It was years of dirt getting adhered to each surface. They were there the last time I cleaned there and the time before that, so why were they so prominent today? So I sprayed the counters with a cleaner and let it "soak" for a little while. I used a brush to try to get the dirt off, and it worked a little but some "stains" still remained. I sprayed the floor as well and let that soak too and the water was filthy until I was done. Then in a quiet, very audible voice, I heard the Lord speak. I am not one to claim to hear Him speak to me very often. Perhaps it's the busyness of the daily routines that block out His voice. What I heard Him say was this-"There is dirt in your life, dirt that has been accumulating over years and years and we (He and I) are going to clean it. The dirt (i.e. the doubts, the fears, the worries) are in need of a deep cleaning. And we are going to start over, start at the beginning, start fresh." He said that we are going back to the beginning starting with one of the fundamentals of the Christian faith, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) We've heard it over and over again. And I've heard that we sometimes forget about the next verse. "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. "(Obviously John 3:17) As God spoke to me, I realized that it was not a condemning voice, not "You've managed to let this filth accumulate in your life and now I have to clean up this mess!" It was a loving voice, no condemnation.
I believe all the doubts, worries and fears that I've allowed Satan to consume my mind with are all because of lies I've allowed him to let me believe. Years of believing the lies have allowed the "filth" to accumulate. The lies have looked like the truth. Just like when we give the counter a quick wipe down ground in dirt still remains. It looks clean so it must be. We read our 10 minute "Daily Bread" and convince ourselves we've done our "duty" for the day, when in reality we need a good "cleansing". In reality, we need a good power washing.
A friend emailed me this morning and attached a song link. I've heard the song a few times before but watched the video with the lyrics this time and I just let the tears flow because it was so relevant with what happened at this morning's cleaning job. Some of the lyrics..."No weapon formed against me shall remain" ...the weapons of doubt, worry and fear. They are not going to remain, God is going to "clean" them. "This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on it's way"....victory over the "filth" is not here YET, but it's on the way! "All of my life, in every season, YOU ARE STILL GOD, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." I have forgotten, that no matter what season of life I am living that I ALWAYS have a reason to sing, to worship and to be thankful, even during spring cleaning, the cleaning of my heart. Thank you, Lord, for speaking to my heart today. Would you pray, in agreement, to allow God's Word to "penetrate" like a powerful cleanser and let His truth "soak" into my heart and mind(and yours) so that it doesn't just look clean but that it truly is?

3 comments:

  1. Jenn:
    Your words always amaze me. Sometimes when I am in doubt of my faith and I read your blog, I feel a new sense of faith. New lessons to be learned, etc.
    My prayers are with you as you begin the next few weeks preparing for this journey. Hopefully a journey that will bring you some peace, some answers. If I can do anything to help Greg out and maybe give you some peace of mind, please let me know. After my recent surgery, I realized how wonderful people can be. The meals that were prepared for Mike and I, the cards of concern. They all meant so much. So call me, we can talk about what I can do to help.
    Love you,
    Wendy

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  2. Thanks for sharing, Jenn! God is definitely at work in your life, and I know He has great plans for you. All of the struggles you are experiencing and have experienced can be used as great strengths in the future for His glory. You have already blessed many people with encouragement and so much more as you have made yourself humble and vulnerable in order to help others even in the midst of your biggest struggles. Thanks again for being brave enough to share and to walk in complete trust of who God is. Love ya, Lisa

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  3. Jenn,
    I too am blessed when I read your blog. Thank you for meeting a need in my life yesterday!
    Much love,
    Angie

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